I love him, so I'm not being unfaithful, right? It's only a text, right? It doesn't mean anything surely?
But I want more than a few texts. I can't help thinking that he's going to leave me, so I need someone to leave. I'm going to prove that I'm worth something, so I'm going to have him. I ruined his life, he should hate me. He's not yet recovered after 1 1/2 years, so I think I hit him pretty hard. Only, I never meant to, things just got out of hand. He used me, he never really liked me. So it's a chase I'm never going to win. So I may as well use him back, right?
But my love won't be so happy. It'll kill him. I've made alot of mistakes in my life, but this would be the biggest. And with it will come the biggest thrill.
And he knows I love him, and that I don't want him to go.